How to Prepare for Your First Medium Reading

Preparing for a first reading is mostly about doing less than you think. The instinct is to gather photos, write out questions, rehearse what you want to say. Some of that helps. Some of it quietly gets in the way. Here's how to show up in a way that gives a genuine reading the best chance to prove itself — and protects you from the kind that just tells you what you wanted to hear.

Know Why You're Here

This is the most important preparation you can do, and it's entirely internal.

I connect to the greatest need in the room. That's how I work, and it's how the best evidential mediumship works — the energy follows what matters most, not what's most convenient. Someone who comes in with a clear intention, even if they never say it out loud, tends to have a richer reading than someone who shows up casually curious. I can read for someone who's just in the mood to see what comes through — but those readings tend to be lighter. The depth follows the need.

So before your session, get honest with yourself. Are you hoping to hear from someone specific? Are you in grief and looking for evidence that they're okay? Are you at a crossroads and hoping for clarity? Are you a skeptic who genuinely wants to test this? Any of those is a valid reason to be here. Name it privately. Write it down. You don't share it with me — but having that clarity in your own body before we start makes a difference in what's able to come through.

Understand What You're Walking Into

A reading involves three parties: Spirit — whether that's your own soul or the souls of loved ones who've crossed over — me, and you. All three require a level of harmony for the best communication to happen. I'll do my part. Spirit does its part. Your part is showing up present, open, and willing to receive whatever comes through — not necessarily what you hoped for.

A reading is not a guaranteed phone call. Sometimes the evidence is abundant. Sometimes it's quieter. An ethical medium will tell you which is happening rather than manufacturing connection to fill the silence. I will. No honest medium promises a specific person will come through on cue — and if someone guarantees that before you've even started, that's information about them.

Come as You Are — But Stay Out of My Way

I don't need you to perform a certain emotional state during a reading. Come as you are. If you're nervous, that's fine. If you're skeptical, that's welcome. If you're already crying before we start, that's okay too. There's no special vibration you need to be at, no chakras to clear, no ritual preparation required. Being rested, present, and unhurried is more useful than any of that.

What I do need from you is simple: don't give me information I haven't earned. Your job during the reading is to respond with three things only — "yes, that's correct," "no, that's not correct," or "I don't know." That's it. That discipline is what keeps the evidence clean. Details that arrive when I know nothing about you are the details that carry weight. Details that arrive after you've fed me context prove nothing, because they could have been built from what you said.

If you feel the urge to volunteer something — hold it. Let me work first.

What Ethical Mediums Should Be Transparent About

Before or at the start of your session, a trustworthy medium should be willing to explain how they work. Not in vague terms, but specifically — what are they doing, how does information come to them, what do they need from you, and what should you expect.

I tell every client upfront: I'm going to be connecting to your greatest need in this moment, and I'm going to follow where the energy leads — not where you direct it. I'll share what I receive and ask you to confirm or deny without helping me fill in the blanks. If something isn't landing clearly, I'll say so rather than push through with something vague. If I'm not getting anything useful, I'll tell you that too.

You deserve to know what you're walking into. Any medium who is evasive about their process before you've paid for a session is worth being cautious about.

Practical Things That Help

Take notes or ask to record. Readings move quickly and you will forget specifics within hours. Some details won't make sense until days later when a relative confirms something odd that came through. A written record lets you evaluate the evidence honestly afterward instead of remembering it more generously than it happened.

Give yourself time on either side of the session. Don't schedule a reading between two meetings or right before school pickup. Give yourself space before to settle, and space after to sit with what came through.

Frequently asked questions

Should I tell the medium who I want to hear from?No. Withholding who you're hoping to reach and how they passed is what makes the resulting evidence actually meaningful. If I bring through the right person without being told who you're looking for, that's the point.

What should I bring?A way to take notes, or permission to record. That's it. You don't need photos or objects unless a medium specifically requests them for their method.

Is it okay to be skeptical?Yes — it's ideal. A calm, skeptical, alert mind is exactly the right condition for evaluating a reading. Real evidential work is built to survive scrutiny. You don't need to suspend doubt to receive it.

Do I need to be in a special state beforehand?No. Rested, unhurried, and present beats any ritual preparation. Come as you are.

How do I get the most out of a reading?Come with a clear intention, even if you never say it out loud. Know why you're here. Then let go of steering the outcome and let the evidence land where it lands. Your job is to confirm or deny — not to help me get there.

Ready to see what comes through?

I offer 45-minute private readings via Zoom, available to clients anywhere. I work evidentially — meaning every reading is built on specific, verifiable detail, not general statements designed to feel meaningful. If you're ready for that kind of work, I'd love to read for you.

Book a reading with me!

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Melissa Kincaid is an evidential psychic medium, Founder of The Kincaid Academy and host of the Soul Signals podcast.